Negative People

Don’t negative people just irritate you? They irritate me! I hate it when all people care and think about is the negative aspects of their life when i’m sure there is alot of positive they can be grateful for instead. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about those people who genuinely have crappy things going on in their life. I’m talking about those few of us who moan and stress themselves out for no reason. I guess it shouldn’t annoy me as much as it does, but the people around me usually determine how i feel and if they’re being negative all the time then they need to remove themselves from my life. For example if i have a person near me who’s always negative and is moaning i tend to get worn out by them and start to become negative about life.

I should cut these people some slack though because recently i found that some people are just genetically prone to high levels of pessimism, neuroticism and anxiety. These people seem to have greater activity on the right side of their frontal cortex than the left. This is known as cerebral asymmetry. No one knows why it happens…just that it does. I guess the left side of my frontal cortex is more active and i’m glad this is so 🙂
I’ve always been a positive person. Well I’ve always tried to be a positive person because ..it feels better i guess.

Clones

Why is it that we spend so much money and effort into trying to stand out but instead end up blending in…?

I’m angry. I’m angry at the way we’ve been brought up to ‘shine’ but we don’t do that. Instead we try to live up to the expectations of others so that we don’t get ridiculed.
Every where I look everyone is surrendering to the ideal fashion standards set by the media. Walking through the streets all I see is clones. Wearing chinos, vans, snapbacks..face looking like its been dipped in a bucket of paint…the list goes on because originality no longer exists.

On the surface everybody talks about how unique they are and seem to be busy trying to stand out but failing miserably. I often question why this may be. It seems like we’re prisoners to our own reality. We want to stand out and leave a mark in history but we end up trying so hard to make a difference that instead we get stuck in a never ending cycle of impressing others.

We’re so obsessed with perfecting our look that we’ve lost touch with ourselves. We can no longer identify if what we wear or how we present ourselves is really what we are the inside, because frankly I think that most of us look the way we do because it’s just what we think people want to see. I guess we’re just scared to be ourselves because we don’t want to be rejected from society. BUT WHY!?! Why can’t we just say NO. I WILL WEAR WHAT I WANT. I WILL DO WHAT I WANT…and I don’t give a toss what you think.

First Steps With Out Me

Ever since we are children we always plan out what our future is going to be like sometimes you share these plans with a best friend who you trust with your life because you remember making that pinky promise that tied together the friend ship, which you know none of you will break -Or that’s what the innocence of childhood lets you believe-

You may sit together for hours on end together with that friend planning on how you’re going to find a cure for cancer or how you’re going to be the first person on mars; and when people around you make fun of you, you both stick together and make sure you see those dreams through.

However the sad part is when those things you were supposed to do together, you don’t do together. You grow apart and all of a sudden that pinky promise means nothing. Then you hear your best friend has taken the first steps with out you. Then you don’t know how to feel. You heart feels broken and it’s not because you not happy for them, it’s the fact that you realise that you really are on your own. This best friend comes out and tells you what they’ve started doing for their dream (your dream)  and their tone almost makes it sound like it doesn’t mean as much to them as it means to you anymore. It’s like the fact that they’ve grown up and they are ready to pursue those dreams they don’t need you anymore.

You can’t let them know your sad about that though,that will make you look…silly. Instead you try to ignore the feeling of hurt that’s starting to pour out of you heart and start to form tears which you try to blink away like your life depends on it and they don’t notice at all.

Human’s reactions and understanding of each others feelings at times can be much…undermined because for a while their own feelings are overwhelming their senses to detect any other human emotions around them. This can be almost sad when you’re in the position of the person who’s been ignored.

Why am I the only one stuck in the mindset of a 10 year old? Why are all my peers moving on and starting to become serious about life and leave childhood completely behind? I know it’s hard to remember the people we used to be but is it not crazy to just forget everything we were and everything we stood for?

Never mind, these things happen, I can run across the world on my own. I don’t need anyone; I am a strong independent Asian.

Am I The Fool?

If you already didn’t know I’m a sort of person that thinks more of the future then of now. I have so many goals and ambitions that I sit all day and plan out how I’m going to get there. This may sound crazy but I have a dream book. And in that book there is one particular page that has dominated my life. It’s the list of things I “must achieve”. Recently I’ve realised that this list is ruling me, it may be a good thing because it means I will get to my goals quicker…but it maybe a bad thing because it takes away from today’s enjoyment.

Here’s what I mean. In the next 2 years I’ve planned to get amazing A level results volunteer in various different places then hopefully get a place at a school of psychology and study for 6 years ( I want a doctorate) Then I get a job , then I’d work at the job then I’d be old and wonder where my youth went.  If I spend all my time building for an amazing future when am I going to enjoy the now? Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love the different types of volunteering and study cases I’m trying to do ( they make me feel like a real psychologist!!) but the thing I’m feeling at the moment is why am I so stuck in trying to prefect the future? Am I some sort of a future freak? Is this normal? Probably not.

I think all this is perhaps the result of reading many psychological facts and figures advise you to constantly think about what you want in order to attract all that goodness to yourself. But I guess I’ve become a fool to all this because it’s starting to make me miserable. The more I think of the future the more negative thoughts creep into my head. Playing dreams over and over in my head has caused me to find complications and difficulties in achieving them. I’m starting to think what if in 5 years time this is not the dream I want anymore? Or what if I don’t get that uni place…? Then what my whole future …ruined?

I’m not saying having goals is bad but what I’m saying is letting it take over the present is bad. Be happy for the now because nothing matters. The problems I’m going through right know may seem like the biggest deal but no… None of it matters because life is an illusion anyway.

Maybe it’s time to stop being a fool of life and focus and be grateful for the wonderful everything

It’s a little bit funny

One thing I learnt from secondary school would be the rapid change human’s go through. It’s like one minute you know someone like the palm of your hand and the next…Well you don’t know them.

The thing that’s triggered these thoughts in my head is the way ex-best friends act towards you- or towards me-. It’s like one minute everything is back to normal and we are like best friends again then the next everything changes completely and they turn into a monster you do not recognise.

The worst thing is we can’t be mature about it and talk it out because we are stuck in old patterns and routine that we can’t break or if we try to break them it’s like they build themselves again like that’s how it’s meant to be. Even so I don’t believe it’s supposed to be like this because humans have mouths so why not use them to work out sticky situations instead of just “brushing” them to the side. It doesn’t make sense!

It’s really funny because I wonder if maybe humans were designed to get bored very quickly with people. If this is so then I know for a fact I’m not human. You see I’m a sort of person who get’s much attached to people… perhaps if I stop getting attached to people then things would be a lot different

One thing I have realised is that they always try to make you feel bad about yourself which is weird because the real person feeling bad is them…because I took away what was the most special to them, I suppose they should have looked after this special thing because right now it’s mine forever.

It makes me sad that I’m stuck in this timespace continuum with people like this.

 

 

Passion

I really don’t like some of my teachers in school that are so horrible and spiteful. I don’t know who they think they are shouting at me, when I am simply doing my job. Perhaps some people should stop and think before they do some things; because they’re only making fools of themselves. They think just because I’m wearing this green uniform they can humiliate and intimidate me in front of everyone. Do they get some sort of crazy freakishly liking in making others lives a misery?

Maybe they feel important when they are shouting.

How some of the teachers even managed to get a career in teaching is beyond me. Perhaps they blabbed their ways through it. Half of them are not any where as passionate enough as they should be. If I was ever to be a teacher I would pour my whole ambition and soul into giving the children the best possible education. It’s not just the learning of the work that’s important. A teacher should be able to have an understanding of every single child. Isn’t that the whole point of being a teacher? Isn’t being understanding meant to be in the nature of teachers or any sort of person working with children?

Why do they always have to look down at me like I’m a nobody? I’m sick of being treated like a child. I know that I’m only 15 but I give them respect so isn’t it right that I should get some back?. What annoys me is knowing that for the rest of my life I will always have that person who thinks they’re better then me and end up looking down their nose at me. Why are humans like this? It seems like there’s this unsaid classing grade that divides all humans. Can’t we all just accept that we are all equal…Maybe that’s too much to expect from a humans

The one thing that keeps me going though is the fact that I know I will be able to prove them wrong. I’ll show them everyone is equal. You see I Have plan. I don’t know what that plan is just yet, but i’ll think of something.

Anyway the point of this blog was meant to be a rant about how shallow people have become. No one seems to care about anything anymore. If they do they’ll merely state it and that’ll be the end of it. Why can’t people develop a back bone and stand up for they believe in? Why have we all become so helpless?

Living The Perfect Fairytale

I know I have not been blogging for sometime now but there is just something that’s been on my mind that I thought I’d share with you.

This morning I went to class with the thought of Wills and Kate in my mind and it just made me think that I WANT A PRINCE. I want a happily ever after also. As you can probably tell from the rest of my blogs I am a type of person who is extremely interested in knowing about soul mates and being able to find the right one. I’ve been interested in finding out where all these ideas have developed from. Though my main thought has always been that these ideas are pure rubbish, however I’ve come to a point where I wish that these things were true.  So maybe it’s this feeling I have right now that influences the ideas about soul mates…the idea that maybe there actually is someone for everyone, which makes humans make up these facts and try to convince themselves that “the one” will show up. That hope keeps you going. Keeps you smiling.

However I do find it difficult to keep smiling when there are many negative people around constantly reminding me that I’m not Cinderella and I’m not living a fairytale. Well that’s none of you business.I can live a fairytale if i want. You can go and be miserable in your puddle of miserableness. I’ll be happy with out you.

Like I said after a lot of thought, I’ve decided I will find my prince and not care what anybody has to say. I will live my fairy tale, just like any of you can. I’m not going to wait for the fairy tale to start because it has already begun I just need to pay more attention to it. I’m never going to stop.

Today I realised how terrible humans are at stopping themselves from bursting each others bubbles. Wouldn’t it be great if people got lessons in keeping their mouths shut?