Am I The Fool?

If you already didn’t know I’m a sort of person that thinks more of the future then of now. I have so many goals and ambitions that I sit all day and plan out how I’m going to get there. This may sound crazy but I have a dream book. And in that book there is one particular page that has dominated my life. It’s the list of things I “must achieve”. Recently I’ve realised that this list is ruling me, it may be a good thing because it means I will get to my goals quicker…but it maybe a bad thing because it takes away from today’s enjoyment.

Here’s what I mean. In the next 2 years I’ve planned to get amazing A level results volunteer in various different places then hopefully get a place at a school of psychology and study for 6 years ( I want a doctorate) Then I get a job , then I’d work at the job then I’d be old and wonder where my youth went.  If I spend all my time building for an amazing future when am I going to enjoy the now? Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love the different types of volunteering and study cases I’m trying to do ( they make me feel like a real psychologist!!) but the thing I’m feeling at the moment is why am I so stuck in trying to prefect the future? Am I some sort of a future freak? Is this normal? Probably not.

I think all this is perhaps the result of reading many psychological facts and figures advise you to constantly think about what you want in order to attract all that goodness to yourself. But I guess I’ve become a fool to all this because it’s starting to make me miserable. The more I think of the future the more negative thoughts creep into my head. Playing dreams over and over in my head has caused me to find complications and difficulties in achieving them. I’m starting to think what if in 5 years time this is not the dream I want anymore? Or what if I don’t get that uni place…? Then what my whole future …ruined?

I’m not saying having goals is bad but what I’m saying is letting it take over the present is bad. Be happy for the now because nothing matters. The problems I’m going through right know may seem like the biggest deal but no… None of it matters because life is an illusion anyway.

Maybe it’s time to stop being a fool of life and focus and be grateful for the wonderful everything

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