I turned 16 today and for some weird reason I didn’t feel happy or excited like I always do on birthdays. At first I thought it’s probably just because subconsciously I knew that 3 of my best friends Laura, Charlotte and Divine were not coming to my little “outing”. Though as the day went on I realised that that was not the reason I was not in the mood for a birthday. The real reason was perhaps the thought of not really being considered as a child anymore. I mean I know that at 15 I wasn’t a child but I could get away with completely blowing away the managers minds at job interviews with the little knowledge I have of the business world; but now I’m 16 I’m expected to know all this and more. I’m expected to get a job and start earning some money and I’m expected to behave in a manor that will reflect my age. I won’t be able to dance around singing Disney songs like I usually do because I feel that at this age it would be considered as childish and inappropriate. The thought that I have to be mature and grow up and that everything I do now will build up towards my future sort of scares me.
I know that all this is sort of typical off me worrying about the future and what not but I suppose I’m a sort of person that thinks ahead-maybe just a little too ahead-
One thing that I finally have figured out at this age is that Never Land has been with me all along and it always will be. How I hear you ask…Well ever since I saw it for the first time I tried everything to get there! I tried to find the second star by listening harder in physics (didn’t help) I sprinkled glitter on myself pretending it was fairy dust but that also didn’t help…I tried and tried many pointless methods hoping that one day I would get to Never Land and every time I tried I failed and failed again but not tonight. Tonight it was different; you see I made a wish when I blew out my candle today. I wished that I would be able to go to Never Land and it came true because I realised that I don’t have to travel to Never Land because Never Land is with me. It’s always been with me I just hadn’t realised. Yes I must grow up but not on the inside. I can still be a child singing along to every Disney song at heart. It’s just no one has to know because it’s my secret place where anything can happen; and when I find my Peter Pan I will share it with him. But for now it’s just me going on a different adventure everyday. Life doesn’t have to be all about acting a certain way to fit into society it’s about acting a way that will match up to your inner child. Although I don’t yet fully understand the concept of inner child I feel that this is the perfect place to use it.
You too can go to Never Land just…head for the second star to the right and carry straight on till morning. I managed to get there and I’m going to stay there.